Mélanie Brown is a lot: for most of us, it is Mel B – practically a friend. She is frightening from the group of successful girls of all time, The Spice Girls. It’s a six -season season America has a talent Favorite fans, now returning to the judges’ table. She is the mother of three equally creative children, Phoenix, 26, Angel, 18, and Madison, 13 years old. And she is the fiancée of the hairdresser Rory McPheeA man who aroused a love in her that she has never lived.
Over a decade ago, his life seemed entirely different. She detailed this incredibly dark and painful period in her memoirs of 2018, Brutally honest. Self-mediatizing and seeing no other outcome, Brown tried to commit suicide in 2014 by swallowing nearly 200 aspirin. “What did you think?” That the world or your friends and your family would be better without you? Brown, 49, says US Weekly at that time. “It is how much I was in the whole situation of self-delicit, guilt, embarrassment.”
Brown finally found the strength to leave the relationship in which she was and, in 2019, returned home to Leeds, England. Its next steps: therapy, reconstruction … and happiness! She is Plan her dream marriage While living his best #farmlife in a secular house of traditional stone on 15 acres with goats and more. And she takes a welcome detour to join her AGT For its 20th season (NBC, May 27, 8 p.m.).
More importantly, she uses her voice to help “as many women as possible, especially survivors of mistreatment”, as a patron for the help of women of domestic violence. “I know myself more and more, especially where I come from, I feel so little confident and unworthy,” says Brown. “I managed to understand my little path to a peaceful place.” The star speaks to We On healing after sorrow.
Has the invitation to return to Agt been a fortuitous moment for you?
Oh, certainly, because I am in a much better place. When I was on AGT [from 2013 to 2018]It was a very bad time. It was my dirty little secret. I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I was too embarrassed, guilty and shame. [But] In these days of filming, I must be myself for nine, 10 hours. I really have to take advantage of sitting next to Howie [Mandel]Heidi [Klum] And Simon [Cowell]. This time I am Happy on the desktopAnd I’m going to be happy to go home because it’s a completely different configuration and scenario.
You have resurfaced on the spin-off of the Fantasy League of 2024. How do Agt fans now react that you will be there all summer?
I hope they are excited because I’m really, really excited. My children are delighted. Since I returned to the United Kingdom in 2019, I said to myself: “I am not a citizen of the United States, so if you want me, you have to get me an open visa.”
Was it difficult to be back after years so difficult?
Everything is in a loop. I never thought that I would come back to the United States, he had a little feeling of madness – especially the, because I had passed so much and divorced here. [But] I am in love again because it is in my words, with a lot of freedom, self-esteem and personal care.
After years of misfortune, Melanie “Mel B” Brown lets love show the way. In an exclusive interview with US Weekly, The America’s Got Talent: Fantasy League Judge, 48, spoke frankly about the Rocky Road who led her to the Rory McPhee Fiancé. “I did not believe in love and confidence because I was 10 years old […]
Have you found triggers in the city?
I will have triggered all my life, especially after what I experienced. I would be very dishonest to say: “Oh, everything is fine.” I have good days. I have bad days. I worked enough on myself to find out if I feel a trigger to come. I have the tools to be able to calm down, control what is real, what is not real, which is the SSPT and calm me down.
It’s a very difficult thing to move forward because you can take two steps forward and five steps back. I know that I am a work in progress, but I came so far – jumps and limits – by therapy, through a lot of confidence and faith, and I am proud.
Years ago, you tried to commit suicide. Do you even recognize this woman who had no hope?
I cannot deny that this is what I experienced. This person is still there, and I cuddle him when he develops from time to time. I would never go to this dark place again. I have the tools to be able to recognize it and say “I’m sorry” to this person, who is me, and not to allow myself to feel like that. Because I’m better than that.
How did your Sisters of your Spice Girls take your trip into account?
Because I was on tour towards the end of my relationship, I was very kept. I put such a barrier because I wanted to make sure that I appeared well. It was too much for me to admit girls – so I should admit it. And then what? I had nowhere to turn. The girls were there, but I know they felt guilty. I have already told them, on several occasions: “It was nothing to do with you. Even if you were trying to shake me and say:” I know what’s going on “, I would have denied it because I was not ready to have this achievement.”
Can you remember a moment pierced with therapy?
Find EMDR. [Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy involves moving your eyes a specific way while you process traumatic memories.] Because I didn’t have to speak. To speak is to relive it. EMDR facilitates this pain without words. For me, it was much more healing than any other therapy.
You were finally diagnosed with the SSPT. What are your strategies to manage it?
I have music. Candles and incense. I like things with comfort [fast-paced]. I have always been like that, even in my spices: I love being at home with a fire and looking at excessively [TV]. What was I looking at the other day I had never seen? Game of Thrones!
How do you browse your mental health difficulties during public eyes?
I assure myself that I have my brain breaks where I go to Thailand by myself. I get on my farm without my phone so that my children or fiancé cannot contact me unless they come to [a different] field. I make room to be able to breathe, feel and sit down.
It must have been incredibly satisfactory to buy your own house in Leeds.
I left my relationship with barely money at the bank and little idea where my money had all disappeared. I had to live with my mother [Andrea] During Covid, who, behind, was a beautiful thing because [I] had nowhere to go. We had to dig deeply and be honest with each other on what I had experienced and what my mother had experienced. She thought that for most of my relationship, I didn’t want to talk to her or want her in my life. The isolation of friends and family is part of the cycle, and that was something that we had to repair.
I didn’t think I would never be able to strengthen financial stability, but I worked hard. I have been looking for houses for about four years, thinking: “I can never allow myself, but I will continue to look for anyway.” This house appeared at the right time.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images although Mel B is better known as “Scary Spice” in the Spice Girls, she does not quite think that this would resist the test of time. “Now I think we are a little too politically correct,” said Mel B (real name Melanie Brown), 48 […]
How about you have learned about yourself through all of this?
I am resilient. And I don’t take things for granted. As long as I am faithful to myself and keep my side of the street clean, so I’m ready to leave. I think women in general are resilient. Listen, we give birth, we multitate. We can hold a job and be on the phone by doing business and with children. [We] Make sure they have the crowded lunch. We are everything.
How has your point of view on love evolved over the years?
By leaving this 10 -year relationship, I was not trying to be in another. I was all about my children, assuring myself that they [were] Ok and in their healing trip. Rory, an adorable family friend, is a hairdresser, so he fed my curls. When I left my ex, I cut my hair and tone it blonde. I wanted to get rid of everything that made me think [the relationship]. So I say to myself: “Can you come and help me?” As [Rory] Feed my curls, he nurtured my belief again in love and confidence – which is a huge thing for me because the person I loved and that I was trusting was the worst error I have ever made. Until two years ago, I said to myself: “You can find someone else. I’m too broken.” Rory says: “Melanie, I’m not going anywhere. Because I love you absolutely.”
What does your fiancé bring to your life?
So much compassion and understanding. He is very special. He is a very confident man, and he is for me a man. He makes me feel if safe – I didn’t know how dangerous I felt because it became normal for me. While now I have to pinch myself and say, “You are so kind. Are you always going to be nice? Can I marry you? Can I trust my own instincts? ” And you can.
You have a big step to come: 50 years on May 29. Plans?
I’m not really a party. I can celebrate, but I always have the impression that there is so much pressure so that you are happy that day. My father’s birthday was the day before mine, and I’ve always spent my birthdays with him. He went in 2017, so I don’t know what’s going to happen for my 50th. The day before, I’m still sad. I miss my father.
Do you think there is something that you will do differently in the fifties?
I know myself more and more. I really had to work on it, and I will work there for the rest of my life. I am constantly evolving. I love myself. So, 50, even if it’s a great thing, I’m like, bring it.
What is one thing you did not do that you would like to accomplish during this decade?
I think I did a lot and unexpectedly. I’m just very grateful. At one point, I want to set up my own foundations [to help women and especially survivors of abuse].
While Brown works widely with the help of women (womensaid.org.uk) abroad, you can find resources and support in the United States via the National Hotline of Domestic Violence (1-800-799-Safe or Thehotline.org))
To find out more about Brown, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the Last issue of US Weekly – On newspaper kiosks now.
